The apprentice: a lot of faffling

The new season of The Apprentice is here and with a new cohort of ‘entrepreneurs’ vying for Lord Sugars attention we’re in for more of the same.

I have an awkward relationship with this show, it has the same effect as watching a horror movie, and I can often be found hiding behind a cushion. This season is no exception, Lord Sugar set the contestants the task of making and selling burgers around London. A nice and easy task you might think, not for this bunch of plonkers!

As with each new cohort the first task was to pick a name…..Now, if I had entered a TV show centred around business, with mentors watching my every move, with it following a structured format, and with it being televised nationwide I might just have picked up a dictionary and noted down a few ideas, cue the boys looking blank faced and bewildered. After much deliberation the girls settled on Graphene, due to it being hard and thin whilst the boys went with vitality, though I’m still not sure why….

Whilst the task had the usual issues; infighting, labelling mistakes, missing the lunchtime trade all together and the eventual firing on vitality’s PM, it was the quotes, questionable fashion choices, and tension brewing between scary Liz and Siobhan that had us hooked.

My favourite quotes of the episode:

“I’ve got size ten feet and I kick butt” – Elizabeth

“Vitality sounds like something you’d take before going on a date”- Lord Sugar

“I’ll throw people under the bus, over the bus, then I’ll get on the bus, take the wheel and drive towards the job.” – Jeff Wan

“We have to think… they have to be good at selling… And they… They… They have to be good at selling to men, if you see what I’m saying.” – Siobhan

“To sell one pack, is the least I’m going to expect.” – Bushra

“Faffling a lot” – Siobhan

Let us know what you thought of the first episode in the comments below!

 

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