After months of trying to make your marriage work, you eventually feel defeated. Endless fighting or an unfaithful spouse can really cause havoc in your life.
You tired marriage counseling and even a short break, but nothing seems to have helped.
Perhaps you are wondering whether to get a divorce. If you are trying to decide what the right thing is to do, then keep reading for things to consider before getting a divorce.
Make sure that you actually really do want a divorce.
With getting a divorce, you need to be 100% certain that you do actually want a divorce. Maybe you are just going through a rough patch? With deciding whether to get a divorce, you need to make sure you are thinking with a clear mind. Divorce is an emotional decision but you shouldn’t let your emotions dictate such a serious choice. If you feel that you are in a clear state of mind, then you can weigh up the pros and cons of getting a divorce. Expect to feel anxious and depressed during a divorce and after a divorce. When you get a divorce, it’s almost as if you are starting over from the beginning again. For some, this might be a relief, but for others, it could be a bitter pill to swallow.
Consider your children
Before getting a divorce, think about how your divorce will affect your kids. Many children who come from broken homes are prone to depression and anxiety later on in life. Some children are affected so badly from their parent’s divorce that they begin to act out in various ways. For example; their grades might suffer, they could have problems with depression or insomnia. Often a divorce affects a child’s relationship with their parents.
Studies have shown that children usually draw away from their fathers after a divorce. Your child’s life might also be disrupted by alternating between parents for visits on weekends and holidays. Sometimes, though divorce might be the better option for your children, especially if your spouse is violent or abusive. Some studies have also shown that children who grow up with parents who are constantly fighting are terrible for their emotional health.
How much will a divorce cost?
Another thing you need to consider is the cost of getting a divorce. It can be really expensive to get a divorce, especially if you have a contested divorce and go to trial. The average cost of a contested divorce is anywhere between $15 000 to $30 000. If you are set about getting a divorce, try to make sure that you can have an uncontested divorce. This will be much cheaper. If possible, try to get an online divorce by using a trusted online divorce company. You could save so much money. An online divorce could cost between $100 and $1500 in total.
Will you be able to live on one income?
If you are used to living on two incomes, it can be difficult to get used to living on one salary. If you are a stay at home mom, you might have to get a job in order to keep up with living expenses. Will you be able to pay for your own rent or mortgage? Groceries and so forth? It’s important to create a budget before you get a divorce to know if you can afford to live alone.
Make a list of all furniture and copies of important documents
It’s important to make a list of everything that you own in your home. If you do this, it can lessen disputes later on. You could even take photos of each item, remember to use a newspaper with a date on it in each photo so you can create a timestamp of when the photos were taken. You could also state on each photo the value of each item or get appraisals. Keep your photos in a safe place. If your spouse hides your most expensive piece of art, you can always show the judge your photos. Make copies of all important documentation such as any pre-nuptial agreements that you might have, it would surprise you at how many ex’s try to destroy these documents. Some spouses might also try to hide their assets so they will not have to divide them with you. Therefore, photos of all belongings are important.
You will need to be honest
Before you get a divorce, be completely honest with your lawyer about all your assets and debts. If you try to hide your assets, for example, you could get fined heavily. A judge doesn’t take lightly those who lie during court cases. So if you won the lottery, don’t hide this during your divorce procedure. You could end up losing all of it if the judge finds out that you hid your assets. Also, hiding assets could prolong the divorce process, which you don’t want.
Choose a lawyer or file for divorce online
If you think you might need a lawyer, then it will be a good idea to look around for decent divorce lawyers in your area. Your lawyer doesn’t have to be the most expensive. Choose someone who has the experience but who is also reasonable with their pricing. Most lawyers charge per hour. You could use a lawyer for just a certain part of your divorce, perhaps with child custody, or if you need any legal advice on anything. They will also be able to advise on an efficient process server to deliver the legal papers. If you feel as if your divorce will be simple and you don’t have children, then opt to get an online divorce. This will be cheap, quick, and easy. Some online divorce companies even offer legal advice online for an extra fee if need be.
You will turn a new page in your life
With getting a divorce are you ready to start over? Do you feel that you can carry on without your spouse and be happy with that decision? If you have thought things through, and you have made peace with your feelings, then you could be ready to start a new chapter in your life.
There are so many things that you need to know before getting a divorce. If you can think things through calmly and rationally, then you might be ready to take the next step. Only you will know what is best for you and your family. Divorce is never an easy decision. I end off with a quote by Helen Rowland
“When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn’t a sign that they ‘don’t understand’ one another, but a sign that they have at least begun to.”
— Helen Rowland
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash
