Friends with benefits – but not what you’re thinking!

Friends With benefits

‘You’ve got trouble, I’ve got ‘em too’

‘We stick together and we see it through’

Just some of the wise words of song writer Randy Newman.

On 8th June, we celebrated Best Friends Day. We’re all aware that we enjoy spending time with our best friends. That’s why we choose to do it.

But you probably didn’t know that those friendships are scientifically backed up to be good for us, according to Michigan State University. Friends are the family we choose. The family that we can talk to about anything without judgement and without fear of disappointing them. That’s why they’re the ones we turn to when the night is darkest.

They’re Extending Your Life

We often overlook the connection between mental health and physical health. You want to improve your physical health- you go to the gym, right? Wrong.

Did you know that feeling stressed out can negatively impact the heart and lead to higher blood pressure levels, putting you at a serious health risk? It has been said that having an active social life is twice as effective as exercise in prolonging life. That doesn’t mean you should neglect keeping fit, just that you should be engaging in fulfilling relationships and prioritising spending quality time with the people that mean the most to you.

They’re Causing you More Happiness Than Cash

A 2016 report from the London School of Economics found that there was a closer association between happiness levels and relationships compared to happiness and income. The research was carried out over 50 years, where wages have increased dramatically. However, happiness levels had not, leading to the conclusion that relationships, present then and now, are where happiness begins.

Their Company Can Prevent Dementia

A study conducted in the Netherlands found a link between loneliness and an increased risk of dementia and a higher chance of early death. However, this does not mean that those of you with a small social circle should worry.

Loneliness is the sense of feeling alone, not being alone. You may have a large social group but still feel as if you’re on your own all the time. The quality of your relationships is what is important, not the number

They Halve your Problems

Many of us don’t like to share everything with our families. Usually not for privacy reasons, but because we don’t like to burden people with our problems. However, this is not something that concerns us when we share with friends. After all, that’s what friends are there for. Keeping problems to yourself can be detrimental to your mental health as you struggle to keep your problems locked away inside. Talking to your friends can bring more stress relief than you might expect as you feel that weight on your shoulders being cut in half.

They Create Good Habits

This one can work both ways which is why it is important to surround yourself with people who have a positive influence on your life. We often recruit our friends into activities or events that we want to do, but perhaps lack the courage or the support.

Losing that extra weight seems easier when you’re sharing the struggle with a friend. Deciding to run a marathon doesn’t seem as daunting when you’re training together. Implementing healthy habits is easy but sticking with them can be challenging.

Having good influences and positive energy surrounding you results in greater feelings of motivation and determination.

They Take Away the Pain

A 2016 study at Oxford University concluded that friends are ‘better than morphine’. They found that individuals with less fulfilling relationships, had a lower tolerance to pain compared with people part of larger social circles. The happiness that we gain from talking to and spending time with friends causes the brain to release the same endorphins we feel when we exercise.

So, next time you’re feeling low, or stressed, or lonely, grab your closest friends and experience that natural ‘friendship high’ we didn’t even know was a thing.

Why not make a phone call today to a friend who may not have heard from you for a while. Wear a smile on your face. Happy Best Friends Day.


Carole Spiers

Carole Spiers

Carole is the CEO of a leading UK stress management and wellbeing consultancy. She is a BBC Guest-broadcaster and author of Show Stress Who’s Boss! Carole is an international Motivational Speaker and is regularly called upon by the national press and media for comment. She is Chair of the International Stress Management Association [UK], founder of Stress Awareness Day, Fellow and Past President of the Professional Speaking Association, London. www.carolespiers.co.uk

Carole Spiers

About Carole Spiers

Carole is the CEO of a leading UK stress management and wellbeing consultancy. She is a BBC Guest-broadcaster and author of Show Stress Who’s Boss! Carole is an international Motivational Speaker and is regularly called upon by the national press and media for comment. She is Chair of the International Stress Management Association [UK], founder of Stress Awareness Day, Fellow and Past President of the Professional Speaking Association, London. www.carolespiers.co.uk